En premier lieu, il faut communiquer ! Cela semble évident mais les personnes qui éprouvent de la difficulté dans ce domaine ont tendance à se retrancher derrière un mutisme qui n’aide en rien à améliorer leurs capacités de communication.
Il faut alors s’entraîner. Oser dire les choses est un premier pas (souvent le plus difficile, d’ailleurs), le second étant de savoir comment les dire. Pour progresser sur ce plan, il est nécessaire de s’exercer en situation. Recherchez les occasions d'utiliser et de parfaire vos capacités, que ce soit par écrit ou en rencontrant des gens. Le théâtre est un excellent moyen de travailler sa communication verbale mais aussi de combattre sa timidité. Une foule d’autres activités aident à communiquer de différentes manières : clubs, musique, chant, sports collectifs, ateliers d'écriture, danse, etc. Par ailleurs, efforcez-vous de prendre la parole dans votre activité professionnelle, d’exprimer vos idées ou vos projets, toujours en tentant de rendre vos présentations intéressantes, vivantes, dynamiques et simples.
Savoir écouter. La communication est une relation réciproque. Vous avez des choses à dire, votre interlocuteur aussi. Il n’est pas nécessaire d’être un moulin à paroles pour bien communiquer ! Pour mieux comprendre l’autre et échanger avec lui, il faut être sincèrement à son écoute.
Observez: Repérez les gestes révélateurs qui permettent de reconnaître les réactions de l’autre par rapport à votre discussion. Sachez voir s’il est énervé (il tapote la table de ses doigts), s’il prend plaisir à votre discussion ou s’il s’ennuie (les yeux dans le vide, le bâillement, il regarde ses ongles, perd le fil du discours, etc.).
Posez les bonnes questions: Cela découle de l’observation. Les bonnes questions vous permettront d’avancer dans le dialogue, en encourageant votre interlocuteur et en lui permettant de s’exprimer avec plus de facilité.
Soyez vous-même tout en restant dans le respect de l’autre. Être à son écoute ne signifie pas adhérer à ses opinions.
Aidez l’autre à s’exprimer, incitez-le à poursuivre en reprenant son idée.
Instaurez un climat de confiance, sans agressivité latente ou déclarée.. Être en accord avec son corps: la communication passe par la parole mais également par les gestes et les expressions du visage. La communication non verbale, révélatrice de votre personnalité, peut marquer votre interlocuteur plus que vos propos, même inconsciemment. Pour une bonne communication, les aspects verbaux et non-verbaux doivent être en harmonie.
Posez votre voix. Prenez soin d’être audible, de ne pas avoir un débit trop précipité, de ne pas adopter un ton monocorde. Votre voix doit à la fois avoir une certaine musicalité et démontrer de l’autorité. Pensez à maîtriser votre respiration et à effectuer des pauses de temps en temps.
Soignez votre gestuelle: Affirmez-vous dans vos gestes. Par exemple, une poignée de main peut en dire beaucoup sur celui qui la donne et laisse toujours une impression, bonne ou mauvaise, à celui qui la reçoit. Soyez donc ferme sans toutefois écraser la main de l’autre.
Tentez d’éliminer les signes de nervosité qui peuvent transparaître. Par exemple, balancer frénétiquement la jambe, triturer vos doigts, faire tourner vos bagues, vous ronger les ongles, replacer nerveusement vos cheveux derrière vos oreilles, vous toucher le visage de manière répétitive, etc. Certaines personnes restent au contraire figées, les mains dans les poches ou les bras pliés. Ceci est un signe de protection.
Le regard doit être franc mais ni fuyant ni agressif: le regard ne doit être ni fuyant ni agressif. Pendant un échange, regardez votre interlocuteur dans les yeux, aussi bien lorsque vous vous adressez à lui que lorsque vous l'écoutez. Cependant, votre regard ne doit pas être insistant. L’essentiel est de regarder votre interlocuteur aux moments clefs du dialogue (attente d’une approbation, etc.). Certaines personnes timides ou bien issues d’une culture différente (culture asiatique) peuvent interpréter un regard insistant comme une agression voire une marque de domination. Sachez donc doser votre regard selon votre interlocuteur. Devant un auditoire, il est recommandé de balayer du regard l’ensemble de l’assistance et de considérer ainsi chaque auditeur. S’il s’agit d’un vaste auditoire, balayez du regard la dernière rangée : tous auront ainsi le sentiment d’être inclus dans votre regard.
Vivez les sentiments que vous exprimez ! Pour parvenir à convaincre un ou plusieurs interlocuteurs, il faut préalablement se convaincre soi-même, tel un acteur qui se met dans la peau d’un personnage.
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